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How to lose 60 pounds in 6 months

On November 22nd I weighed 275 pounds, today May 22nd I weigh 215 pounds.  That makes me a “big loser” and now qualified to give advice on weight loss.  So here are my three secrets on “how to lose 60 pounds in 6 months:

1.  Start by being 80 pounds over-weight.  Being obese is the real secret to losing a lot of weight fast.

2.  Change jobs, sell your home, get rid of nearly all your possessions, move across the country and create so much change in your life that you don’t remember which bad habits you actually had.

3.  Live with a person who buys all the food, prepares it for you and herself eats like a bird.  You still get to eat everything on your plate, it’s just a really small plate.

There you have it: Dave’s secrets to dramatic weight loss.  He’s ready to write a book.  Do you think it will be a best seller?  Right!  Just like “How I Built Long-term Wealth Investing in Derivatives.”

Actually, this has been an interesting journey.  I didn’t set out to lose a lot of weight.  I just wanted to get healthier – maybe even de-age a bit.  I was tired of being tired.  And, another upsize in my wardrobe didn’t seem like the right place to spend my money.

So, I visited a highly-recommended physician in White Plains, NY: Susan Blum, MD.  She’s a wellness doctor and she took a full hour to get my medical history and another hour to develop a personal health strategy for me.  How many doctors do that?

She said that it’s all about managing blood sugar and reducing the body’s cravings for food – the wrong food.  She talked about the dangers of high glycemic foods, bad fats and cortisols.  And, she clarified the real causes of high cholesterol and adrenal exhaustion.

She then focused on the benefits of low-gluten, dairy-free and organic foods.  She recommended massages, meditation and moderate exercise.  And, she added just a couple of nutritional supplements: a morning protein shake, fish oil tablets, vitamin B complex and some flaxseed meal.

She prescribed no drugs or medications.  In fact, I stopped taking my cholesterol  drugs, my blood pressure meds and my anti-aging hormone replacements.  I felt it would be better to not have to deal with the side-effects of these prescriptions.  The warnings that come with them are scary reading, at the very least.

So here we are six months later and what an amazing difference in my energy level and sense of well-being.  I suppose that not lugging two thirty-pound barbells around my waste would make me feel lighter on my feet.  But, the amazing thing is how smoothly and easily this has all happened.

And, the blood work tells a more internal story.  My triglycerides are down from 190 to 56, total cholesterol is down from 195 to 132,  HDL’s are up from 37 to 41 and my resting heart rate dropped from 80 to 68.  In November, I was pre-diabetic (insulin resistant) and now I’m in the normal range.

I am in no way qualified to make health or weight-loss recommendations.  I just wanted to share my story.  If it motivates anyone to take a more serious look at their own health, I will be gratified.  If you decide to make some changes, then find the right nutritional wellness coach to be your guide and do what they say.

My one serious piece of advice would be to avoid the quick-weight-loss programs and realize that the long-haul is what matters.  Let the weight come off as it will; that really isn’t the issue.  Your energy, health and well-being are.

Posted 22 May 2009 † dave § health § personal ‡ Comments (6) ° Tagged: , , , ,

Living with Loss; Lessons we Learned

On April 5th I lost my oldest son, Bradley.  He was only 41.  This is my first blog since and I’m still not ready to write it.  But I need to – for myself, for him and for you.  I could write about something else, but that would feel shallow and safe.  These are the deep and turbulent waters I need to navigate.

First, he didn’t need to die.  It was a terrible accident that could have been avoided.  He thought he had the flu and decided to tough it out.  He was a very powerful, rational communicator and had convinced his wife Beckie that everything would be fine.  By the time she forced him (with the assistance of six adult men) to go to the hospital, it was too late.  He was in the final and fatal stage of diabetic ketoacidosis.

No one knew he was diabetic.  He’d had an appendectomy last December and none of the pre-op workup showed any evidence of high blood sugar.   But, the onset of this disease can be rapid.  In some cases, says the  Mayo Clinic website, ketoacidosis can be the first sign that you are diabetic.  Tragically for Brad, it was.

So, lesson one is this: if you feel bad, get a professional diagnosis.  Self reliance is an honorable trait; self-diagnosis isn’t.  Even with all the information available on the Internet, it doesn’t replace the wisdom of those who are trained and experienced.

The second lesson is about love.  There has been such an amazing outpouring of sympathy, prayer and support – to me, to Beckie and to his six children.  Cards, emails, Facebook messages, phone calls – a thousand and more.  We felt the energy and power of these messages in tangible, personal ways.  They brought strength and comfort to us all.  I will never question the power of prayer nor the willingness of people to reaching out to others in need.

The third lesson is about loss.  We all experience it in our lives.  It is a fundamental condition of living.  And, no one’s loss can be judged greater or more significant than another’s.  For each of us, the loss we face is always sad and often devastating.  Then, we are faced with handling the loss.  There in lies the opportunity – for perspective, for wisdom and for growth.

There will always be a void in my life.  My son is gone.  I miss him now and I always will.  His brother Jeff and I will honor him when we gather next week for our annual Father and Sons Tournament (FAST) weekend (an event the three of us have done nine times).  But, Brad won’t be there with us – joking, laughing, competing and celebrating life.  He was a fun-loving, ever curious, always generous spirit.  We will celebrate that and we will give thanks for the opportunity we were given to know him, hug him and be loved by him.

His passing has provided wisdom (get a professional diagnosis); connection (so many people love you) and compassion (life and loss come as one ).  Thank you Bradley, my son.  I’m sorry you did not get to experience more, but you made a difference in this world.  You were a blessing.

Posted 04 May 2009 † dave § personal § philosophy ‡ Comments (13) ° Tagged: , , ,

Angels and Demons

I have always been fascinated with the power of words.  As Gary, Jay and I were writing our books we would often take time to really drill down on a particular word or range of words, like spiritual versus religious or power versus force.  In the late 1990′s, Gary and I spent a whole afternoon exploring the concept of thought, word and deed.

In fact, it became a part of the Quantum Leap course focusing on the path from inner to outer creation.  When you get it clear in your mind, then you can make it happen in the physical universe.  Stephen Covey called it the “dual creation.”  Wayne Dyer calls it “manifesting your destiny.”

So words have power.  They first allow us to articulate our thoughts and then to act on them.  We use words to communicate, to connect, to influence and to serve.  And, the power of words is well beyond simple scripts and dialogues.  Learning to say things powerfully is important, but getting things right in our own mind is empowering.  Self talk is the most important conversation we’ll ever have.

And, this brings us to “Angels and Demons” – the title of this essay.  I am fascinated by the way that words come in bunches connected to similar meanings or emotional states.

For me, “A” and “D” form the real dichotomy of self-talk.  They are the angels and demons of how we think and what we say to ourselves.  There are the Demons of doubt, denial, despair, discouragement and depression.  There are the Angels of affirmation, assertiveness, achievement, appreciation and (thank you Abraham Maslow) actualization.  And, the ultimate duality: dead versus alive.

In personal development seminars I have often worked with people to consciously shift the words they use and the thoughts they focus on.  For me there is a run of A’s that are powerful: awareness, affirmation, action, accountability, achievement and actualization.

AWARENESS: be mindful, be curious and stay learning-based – “know thyself.”

AFFIRMATION: acknowledge your uniqueness, assess your special gifts, assert your rights and seek your opportunities – “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

ACTION: have the courage to be proactive, to set goals and pursue them, to persist and adapt along the way – “constant improvement is better than delayed perfection.”

ACCOUNTABILITY: own it, measure it, track it and seek feedback – “if it’s to be, it’s up to me.”

ACHIEVEMENT: go for it, make progress, compete, win and grow – “success is the progressive realization of predetermined, personal, worthwhile goals.”

ACTUALIZATION: be all you can be, serve others, challenge yourself, have no regrets – “your life is God’s gift to you, how you live is your gift to God.”

Most therapies and psychological counseling deal with the “D’s” – the Demons.  They can be pernicious and destructive.  It takes courage, resilience and tenacity to remove them from our thoughts and our behavior.  Overcoming “self-limiting beliefs” is a life long endeavor.  It is the battle against the “dark side.”

Here is the thought to take away: “embrace the A’s, erase the D’s – life is short, play your A-game!”

Posted 02 April 2009 † dave § personal § philosophy ‡ Comments (7) ° Tagged: , , , ,

Who Moved My Market?

No one needs to tell real estate agents that the market has changed.  Everyone is scrambling to find the cheese.  But, it’s not just hiding in a new part of the market maze.  The maze has changed.  And, it may never be the same again.

New knowledge is required in this market – short sales, REO’s, loan modification, creative financing, personal financial planning and social networking are just a few of the areas where expertise must be gained or new resources engaged.  It’s not just doing CMA’s and BPO’s for sellers, it’s about doing Best Buy lists for buyers.  We must know the market numbers from every perspective.

This Friday, I will be giving a keynote talk to REtechSouth in Atlanta, Georgia.  There will be over 300 in attendance.  These are real estate professionals willing to learn, grow and adapt.  They are committed to finding the cheese.  In fact, they are focused on finding out how to serve this new market place.  And, their new level of service will lead them to the cheese.

Here’s what they will discover: the fundamental models of running a business haven’t changed and neither have the basic tactics of providing personal professional service.  What has changed is the level at which you have to play the game.  No part-timers, no amateurs, no do-a-few-deals-for-extra-spending-money.

Real estate is now a full-time, full-contact sport.  The skills must be mastered at a high level.  The information and knowledge must be turned into wisdom – what to do with what they know.  Professional expertise is required and will be tested.  Winging it won’t work and will likely put the wingers in a bind.

Resources must be managed with diligence and care.  Time, money and talent are precious.  Taking control, paying attention, being mindful and going the extra mile are critical.  Removing distractions, blocking time and staying focused are no longer a choice.  Bringing order out of chaos is the game.

The Internet, Web 2.0 and Googlenomics are opening everything to everybody.  Anyone can find out anything at anytime.  You can’t fake it.  There is are no hiding places.  You will be transparent to the world whether you like it or not.  Privacy isn’t just gone, it’s distrusted.

Those who were at Inman Connect in NY (or will be at Inman Connect in San Fran) and those at REtechSouth in Atlanta will have a leg up.  They will understand better than most where the market has moved and how to re-connect with it.

You can too.  Just commit to your profession, be massively learning-based and be willing to master the new skills.  It won’t necessarily be easy.  It never is when you are working on new things.  Attack it with a beginners mind, as the Buddhists say.  Be curious, open and flexible.

Adapt to the new conditions and be optimistic about the opportunities.  Calm your anxieties and walk through your fears.   Yes,there is a lot less cheese available but also a lot fewer seekers capable of finding it.  Therein lies the opportunity.

Posted 16 March 2009 † dave § business § personal § real estate ‡ Comments (2) ° Tagged: , , ,

Dealing With This Real Estate Market

Get Real, Get Right. Gary, Jay and I wrote about this as the number one tactic (out of 12) in our book SHIFT: How Top Real Estate Agents Tackle Tough Times.  Here is a short (5 minute) video I did as a summary of the tactics we wrote about.  It was produced by Stephen Schweickart and his talented team at Realty Video USA in cooperation with Darlene Lyons and her Broker Agent Speakers Bureau.

Check it out and share your comments: http://tinyurl.com/bvp7y7

If you are a serious real estate professional and haven’t yet gotten a copy of the book, be sure to orders yours now.  In addition to the powerful content, it is written in the language, self-talk and attitude of an opportunity warrior – a person who chooses to make their own market.

Posted 13 March 2009 † dave § business § personal § real estate ‡ Comments (0) ° Tagged: , , , ,

First it Gets Worse

Athletes say “no pain, no gain.”  My experience is that this truth applies in almost all human endeavors.  Particularly those where you are trying to make something better.  As you work to make it better, it gets worse.

Cleaning your garage, organizing your files, de-piling your desk or improving your cardio health.  The biggest pain you will experience is getting started.  Of course, this is after the extended discomfort you’ve enjoyed while putting it off, hoping it will go away or pretending you don’t need to do it.

My face is a mess right now.  Red, flaking, sore and even scabbing.  Why?  Because after years of ignoring the sun damage, I realized (with the help of my dermatologist) that I’d better do something now or deal with skin cancer later.

So, after 10 days of flourouracil cream treatments, my forehead and nose look like the hull of an old fishing boat.  I’m in hiding until my next appointment when we hopefully begin the regenerating moisturizers.  Before the skin could get healthy, it had to look like this.

“It’s what you do when you don’t have to,” Floyd Wickman once told me, “that will determine what you become when you can no longer help it.”  So true.  Garages, relationships, client databases, health and so many other important things require regular maintenance.  If you don’t do the right things along the way, you’ll have to deal with the pain eventually.  Pay me now or pay me later.

The longer we wait, the greater the price we pay.  Sometimes we can put things off way too long.  Then, we get to deal with divorces, heart attacks, bankruptcies and skin cancer – really big pains.  That’s when we ask the “why didn’t I just” questions.

So, no remorse here, just a reminder to all of us – get at it before it gets at you.  Go for the prevention and you won’t need the cure.  Worse is the first step to better. Feel the pain, get the gain.

Posted 09 March 2009 † dave § personal § philosophy ‡ Comments (5) ° Tagged: , , ,

Big, High and Bold

There is always another way to see things.  First thoughts are not usually the most powerful.  The commonly accepted answers are seldom the wisest.

Think Big – Aim High – Act Bold.  That was the mantra we delivered in our book The Millionaire Real Estate Agent.  We really wanted our readers to think, see and act in new ways.

The more I read it and the more I spoke about it -  on book tours, in masterminds and at seminars – the deeper I began to understand its true meaning.  It is now ingrained in my life.   It guides me.

Think Big doesn’t just mean have high goals and see the big picture.  It means to see things as possible that aren’t now true. It’s about vision, your vision for you, your business and your life.  So often, we use the past as an indicator of what is possible or likely for us.  “Don’t be ridiculous” people will say “that’s not realistic; you’ve never done anything like that before.”

I believe that if you can see it you can make it happen.  The clearer your vision gets about what you want, the greater the odds it will become your reality.   Tim Wood calls it “the power of future pull.”  Just take the time to go inside, explore your deepest desires and crystalize your mental picture.  Add the details as you go.  It will, over time, become your reality.

Aim High means to be willing to do more than you think it will take. It’s not just about aiming above your target and settling for the shortfall.  It is about determination, effort and persistence.  When you are willing to do whatever it takes, you assure your success.  You become unstoppable.

In fact the willingness to do whatever it takes stops Murphy in his tracks.  We know that he and his infamous three laws will show up: “1) nothing’s as easy as it looks.  2) everything takes longer than you think.  And 3) what can go wrong will.”  So be prepared, be ready and be willing.  Nothing can defeat resilience, tenacity and perseverance.

Act Bold means to do that which you are currently uncomfortable doing.  It’s not about being audacious or aggressive or reckless, though sometimes these approaches work.  It is about being courageous, overcoming your doubts and expanding your behavioral bandwidth.

Being bold means facing your fears (they usually tell you where you actually want to go) and moving through them.  It means learning, growing and getting better – wiser, stronger and more skilled.  It’s how you SHIFT to meet the challenges and obstacles between you and your goals.

So, think deeply about this little phrase.  Understand its power. Go deep.  Make it your daily motto.  Post it on your wall: think big – aim high – act bold.

Posted 01 March 2009 † dave § business § personal § philosophy ‡ Comments (3) ° Tagged: , ,

Dump the Baggage

It’s amazing how much extra weight we pick up along the way.  And, I don’t just mean on the bod.  In my recent move from Texas to New York I got to once again marvel at my incredible ability as a collector of extraneous stuff (other words can be substituted here).  And, what a life enhancing experience it was to let all that baggage go.

A friend of mine from Phoenix once said to me, “Every morning I empty my little red wagon.”  I asked him what he meant by that provocative statement and he told me.  “I picture myself as a little boy heading out to meet a new day.  I’m excited and I am pulling my little red wagon behind me.  During the day I pick things up and put them in the wagon – toys, pieces of brightly colored paper, smooth stones, bottles and the like.”

“As an adult, I realize that I have been putting things in my wagon everyday – harsh memories, needless worries, hurt feelings and irrational fears.  They weigh me down.  Sometimes I can barely pull the wagon it is pilled so high with these heavy rocks.  So, I have learned to just dump them out.  They don’t serve me any more.  And now I can move into the day with lightness, joy and anticipation.”

I’ve never forgotten that mental image he shared with me.  Of course, I still let my wagon get too full of the wrong things.  But, his words remind me that I can simply empty it out and pull a lighter load.

As I left Texas in January, it was the perfect time to empty the wagon – I sold my car, put my house on the market, gave away all my furniture (even the big-screen TV and surround sound system), trashed at least 80% of all the paper stuff (what in the world was I saving it for) and donated 70% of my books to the local library.

What was left fit easily in the front half of the smallest rental truck.  Which I drove to from Austin, TX to White Plains, NY.  It would have been more efficient and time-saving to have it moved commercially, but I would have still been caring some baggage – in my mind and my heart.

The three days on the road were therapeutic.  I let my mind wander around and sort through whatever it found.  Some precious memories were reviewed, enjoyed and stored.  Some regrets, mistakes and doubts were released.  And, along about Knoxville, Tennessee (in the mid-afternoon of the second day) my mind shifted and I began to focus on the future – the hopes, the plans and the possibilities.

By the time I got to New York, my life had changed.  So much baggage had been dumped.  My wagon was empty, shined up and read for a new day.  The little boy inside me shouted: “It’s a big world, let’s go play.”

Posted 19 February 2009 † dave § personal § philosophy ‡ Comments (6) ° Tagged: , ,

Read Em’ and Leap

“You are the same today you’ll be in five years except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read.”  That was the constant call to action by one of my early mentors, the late Charlie Tremendous Jones.  His words have served me well.

And, on my last blog “Tough Minded Optimists” I promised I would share with you my prime reading list.  These are the books that have impacted my life, energized it in a positive way and provide a foundation for dealing with today’s challenges.

1. The 100 Best Business Books of All Time - Covert & Sattersten.  This just came out (2009), but it has wonderful summaries of each book.  And, they are the best from leadership to creativity to entrepreneurship to YOU!  This book is not only a guide to great reading, it is a treasure on its own.

2. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living – Dale Carnegie.  Even though How to Win Friends and Influence People is more famous (and very good) this one is even better.  While some of the language feels out dated, almost every self-help book or movement in recent years is based on one or more of this book’s timeless truths.

3. Learned Optimism – Martin Seligman.  A classic of research-based truth on how successful people take control of their lives and achieve their desired outcomes.  No hype here, just scientifically support wisdom and pragmatic advice.

4. Tribes – Seth Godin.  He delivers modern magic – from Unleashing the Idea Virus to Purple Cow and now this book, Seth tells it like it is and how you can make it be.  This book will empower today’s leaders and entrepreneurs.

5. Please Understand Me and Please Understand Me II - David Kiersey.  If you really want to know who you are and why you do what you do, Kiersey’s books will teach you.  And, you’ll learn to understand and accept all those crazy people who aren’t like you that you have to deal with.

6. Talent is Overrated – Geoff Colvin.  You can become world-class in almost any endeavor you choose – just invest time on the task.  Build any skill to the highest level with “deliberate practice.”  This is the real deal – researched, applied and inspiring.  There really are no limits except those we self-impose.

7. The Brain that Changes Itself – Norman Doidge.  This is the neurological confirmation of Colvin’s “deliberate practice.”  The modern science of brain plasticity shows us how and why our thoughts (how we think) actually change what we can do.  Scientific truth with inspiring real life stories.

8. A Whack on the Side of the Head – Roger von Oech.  Yes, everyone of us can be more creative – loosen up, open up and take it up.  This classic book (updated in 2008) is both powerful and fun.  Enjoy the ride.

9. What the Bleep Do We Know – Arntz, Chasse & Vicente.  This will blow your mind, expand your awareness and amplify your possibilities.  Modern science is providing new ways to look at old things.  And usually they aren’t as they appear.  If you like cosmology, read Our Cosmic Habitat by Martin Rees.  I’ve read it four times and will visit it again.

10. SHIFT: How Top Real Estate Agents Tackle Tough Times – Keller, Jenks & Papasan.  Okay, so this is a bit self-serving.  But, this is about more than real estate.  It’s about the art of proactive adjustment and creative adaptation.  The book is written in the self-talk of a free enterprise warrior – the language itself will lift you and energize you.  The final chapter (“The Gift of Shift”) is classic – read it every day for a month and change your life.

These are just ten of my personal favorites.  And, I haven’t even gotten into the spiritual writings – another blog for that.  Let me know which books are guiding you – bringing you the light, the courage and the power (wisdom, will and skill).  Ever upward!

Posted 16 February 2009 † dave § business § personal ‡ Comments (4) ° Tagged: , , ,

Tough Minded Optimists

Outcomes often disappoint the naive.  Success seems to escape the cynics.  Running the mid-line  is a worthy path.  It is the dynamic tension in the life of a free enterprise warrior – optimistic about the opportunities, realistic about the challenges.

For those in the real estate business, this truth has never been more real.  In our book SHIFT: How Top Real Estate Agents Tackle Tough Times, we said “get real, get right.”  Be tough minded about the market conditions and what needs to be done.  Be optimistic about what can be done – for our clients and for our professional careers.  Survive, then thrive.

The reality is that the market has shifted for many industries and multiple professions.  It is a time of sea change.  The old rules don’t seem to work and the new rules are still emerging.  In the midst of this confusion lies a simple truth: success will be earned by the tough minded optimists.

Here are the priorities: stay in the game, pay attention to what is happening, identify what people need, build your skills to meet that need, then go service the need.  For real estate agents, it’s about the “twelve tactics” of SHIFT.  For every other profession, its about identifying your twelve tactics.  Here the neat part: you can use SHIFT as your guide, no matter what business you are in.

Shift is a verb, not a noun.  It is about doing something – first in your mind and then in your actions.  Change your thoughts, change your behavior, change your outcomes.  While “what you do” always matters, “how you think” matters more.  It comes first.

How do you become a tough minded optimist?  How do you change your mindset?  There are three primary ways: 1) hangout with proactive, positive people, 2) read great books and blogs 3) tune out all negativity (avoid mainstream media, talk shows and those people who condemn, criticize and complain).

You already know who the right people are to spend time with.  Now, hang out with them – set up masterminds, exchange emails, meet for coffee, learn together, encourage each other.  And, you know who to avoid – you don’t need (can’t afford) their negativity in your head nor their drain on your energy.  You are the architect of your environment, manage it carefully.

And, about reading those great books and blogs, there are many.  I’ll share my personal recommendations in my next blog (with notes).  Which ones have made the biggest positive impact on the way you think?  Which ones propel your actions?

Remember: you are not alone, we are in this together, we will survive, we can thrive, we can all become tough minded optimists.

Posted 12 February 2009 † dave § business § personal § real estate ‡ Comments (4) ° Tagged: , , ,